Director Tommy Wiseau
Starring Tommy Wiseau, Greg Sestero, Juliette Danielle
Rated M
Score 0/6 (why did I pay for express delivery on this?)

Johnny is a successful banker who lives happily in a San Francisco townhouse with his fiancée, Lisa. One day, inexplicably, she gets bored with him and decides to seduce his best friend, Mark. From there, nothing will be the same again.

…. Okay, The Room might not have broken me, but it came pretty dam close. I have seen highlights of how the guys from Riff Trax handled watching The Room and I have seen it reviewed on YouTube. So, I thought it was only right that I reviewed it. Though when buying my copy of The Room online, I’m still not sure why I paid for express delivery. I guess I am just a sucker for punishment.

There are movies that are bad, but they have something going for them at its clear that the filmmakers at least have some sort of idea of how to make a movie. Then there are the bad movies that are so bad that don’t have anything going for them, have directors who clearly had no idea what they where doing and leave soap-opera writers with the reassuring feeling that they where not involved with the writing process for that movie. There are some good points about this movie, the opening credits and all the b-roll footage of San Francisco showed how much of a beautiful city it seems to be and according to The Room’s trivia page on IMDB the production of the movie employed 400 people (I honestly never thought I would write that in a movie review).

It would have been nice, the movie spent just a little bit of time just setting the scene and introduce some of the characters and letting the audience decide what they thought of them before getting down to the drama of the movie. That didn’t happen Mr. Wiseau took the bold directorial move of shoving me off the edge and expected me to swim in the pool of his movie’s kiddie pool of drama. The DVD that I watched seemed to have a bad audio dub, with the volume on my TV turned to two thirds of maximum there was time when I found that it seemed that the audio was being drowned out by the fan that I had going a couple of metres away from me on the other side of my room. It wouldn’t surprise me ‘actors’ in this movie did not rehearse their lines because there was more then a few instances of lines of dialogue being delivered at odd moments that seemed to affect the overall flow of scene. Also judging by the frequency of the sex scenes it would not surprise me this movie was secretly a Gentleman’s Special Interest movie.

I want to use examples of other movies that I have watched to describe exactly what I thought of Juliette Danielle’s performance as Lisa, but I can’t because it wouldn’t be fair to associate at least one of those movies with The Room because one of those unnamed movies is a good movie that is worth watching. The Room would have been served better if Tommy Wiseau was either the movie’s star or its director. He should not have had both roles.

I need a Drink.