Director James Thomas
Staring Gina Vitori, Andrew J Katers, Samantha Bowling
Rated TV-14
Score 0/6

Archaeologist, Alabama Channing, is recruited by a mysterious billionaire to help find an ancient Chinese relic. The same treasure that her mother was in search of before she went missing.

Just to get this out in the open, The Asylum has actually done some good. That good is specifically limited to the release of Z Nation and the fact that their movies supposedly have never lost them any money, because their movies have budgets of “well under a million dollars”.

Dam. I was really, really hoping that it would be longer before I came across anybody cast in Nightmare Wedding. It turns out the lead actress Gina Vitori is to blame for that hope lasting all of about the time it took me to eat a meal yesterday. But I thought up this Festival of Mysterious Insanity, so something like this was bound to happen.

Tomb Invader is what is known as a Mockbuster. The studio preferred terminology to describe movies like Tomb Invader is ‘tie-ins’ claiming their movies contain original stories. After watching several of these movies on accident and the first of two on purpose I call bullshit and say you can put lipstick on a pig.
Now, I might be nit-picking here, but the poster. I can’t help but think that somebody was left out of a meeting. No guns where used in this movie and the Lara Croft inspired costume was not worn by any of the actresses.

This “movie” is an example of how things like exposition seem to be dirty words to some writers because no real effort was made by the writer to tell the story or to make us care about the characters. It was clear that the writer was influenced by the Indiana Jones franchise and even the Mummy franchise that stared Brendan Fraser. But it wasn’t enough. It seemed that Gina Vitori was only cast in this movie because of her passing resemblance to Alicia Vikander whilst wearing a wife beater singlet and I suppose now would be the time to make a joke about Vitori’s character Alabama ‘Ally’ Channing and Rey from Star Wars, but I just can’t be bothered. As for Andrew Katers well, he just failed in his effort to get in touch with his inner Nathan Drake. The only thing that could be considered a saving grace was Evan Sloan. He has a nice voice.