A big thank you to Darren Mort one of the Directors of To Be Loved, Co-Producer of Tommy who has also written a children’s book Tommy and Tiger Terry for taking the time to answer some questions.
Tommy Review
Tommy and Tiger Terry Review
What inspired you to write Tommy?
In my other life, I am Family Law Barrister. I continue to be concerned with the lack of a voice that children suffer in family law proceedings. Parents become embroiled in litigation and prioritise their own emotions often over their children.
I was inspired to produce TOMMY to send a clear message to parents that their warfare needs to cease and that they need to focus on the emotional, psychological and physical welfare of their children above all else.
TOMMY was based on a true custody battle where the child disassociated and saw blue kangaroos. It was the intense conflict in that case that pushed the child to his emotional boundaries. I think as parents or guardians we can do better and TOMMY is a real lesson for parents in terms of potential fallout in cases of bad and inappropriate behaviour.
You have also written a children’s book Tommy & Tiger does its story differ from that of the short film? Where can people get a copy of Tommy & Tiger?
The book has a happy ending intended for kids. The book centers around three key messages for children. First, that in case of family separation, that they are not alone. Secondly, that it is not their fault. Thirdly, that parents need to change their behaviour to ensure the emotional and psychological health of their children.
We need to always think about the impact of family violence through the eyes of a VICTIM, the child in this case, because once you do that you then can start to understand the impact and the trauma that victims are exposed to.
In this case, and what the book is telling us, is that unless we make an effort to recognise the impact of family violence on children, we will never be able to help them or begin to respond to their needs.
My view is that if we are going to change any of this, we have to be able to identify changes in behaviour. The book sheds light on these behavioural changes and educates both parents and children.
The book is available from our website, or from AMAZON or BOOKTOPIA.
What Audiences expect of Tommy?
Tommy is a compelling film that captures the emotional turmoil, divided loyalties, guilt and feelings of responsibility common for children embroiled in their parents conflict.
Watching Tommy is confronting; the focus is on Tommy, his emotional experience, his anxiety, and the tenability of trying to exist amidst the no man’s land of his parents conflict.
The film not only is a poignant reminder of the daily lived experience of so many children but focuses uncomfortable attention on the responsibilities of parents to protect children by reflecting upon their own behaviour, and the impact of their failure to do so.
The film graphically illustrates how children are unable to defend against the criticism and attack of one parent upon the other, and the measurable consequences to children of having to do so.
Tommy provides an extraordinary learning and teaching tool. The film has now been shown to a number of professional meetings including family lawyers and psychologists; the level of distress generated within the watching group says much about the powerful visual medium of having to confront in a very real and tangible manner that with which these professional people deal, every day. Tommy also potentially, provides a remarkable education tool for separating parents about the imperative to focus not on their spousal conflict but on their parental responsibilities. Tommy presents a challenging representation of how, many parents involved in high conflict divorce, lose a sense of their child and their child’s experience. In the film, Tommy utters not a single word; he does not have a voice and his parents can’t hear him.
For children, parents are forever. Children caught amidst their parents conflict are often confronted with such conflicting views of reality that they find themselves embroiled amidst an intolerable state of dissonance, unable to make sense of their parents’ attack upon each other, and therefore their parents attack on the part of them that is the other parent. The dissonance creates high levels of anxiety, confronts the child with conflicting realities and a loyalty bind, and imposes upon them a level of stress and distress beyond their psychological capacity to cope. It is not uncommon for these children to be overwhelmed by the conflicting realities and in order to survive, split one reality, and one parent off in favour of a single unified experience. It is not difficult to understand why children reject one parent in favour of one coherent reality, as a way of surviving the psychological turmoil of trying to negotiate between the two.
High conflict divorce and parental separation is understandably a major mental health crisis facing Australian young people. The social science research tells us clearly and unequivocally that children whose parents divorce, and who maintain high levels of conflict, and embroil their children in that conflict have children who do significantly worse than any other group. These children are at significantly higher risk of having problems with anxiety, depression, alcohol and drug use, and are significantly greater risk of being unable to sustain intimate, adult relationships. Tommy is a timely, visually confronting reminder of the direct, measurable, and long-term impact of such conflict. It deposits into the psychological experience of the viewer, the impossible, untenable, and powerless position in which Tommy finds himself.
Tommy is multilayered, it presents a remarkably concise portrayal of the painful childhood experience of parental high conflict separation. It allows the viewer to focus on Tommy’s experience, amidst his parent’s warfare. It also confronts the viewer with the futility and sense of hopelessness with which Tommy is confronted in his attempts to navigate the minefield of his parents’ conflict and the inevitable consequences and costs to him of so doing.
Tommy the movie is a timely representation of the emotional experience of many children whose parents were involved in this kind of conflict; it is both a confronting and disturbing portrayal that in reality, sadly pales in comparison to the real-life, lived experiences of so many children involved in these sorts of disputes.
Tommy has been screened at Flickerfest, are there any other film festivals or other places audiences will be able to watch Tommy?
TOMMY has been selected as part of the Flickerfest Roadshow around Australia, so people should watch out for that. We were humbled to be selected from 60 short films out of a pool of some 3500 submissions. We have also just been selected into the Washington DC Film Festival and the Paris ARF Festival. We may present TOMMY again shortly in Melbourne however, we are first awaiting determination of its selection in a number of festivals. If people wish to view it, I am happy for them to contact me via the TO BE LOVED NETWORK website.
What was the most fascinating thing about the production of Tommy?
The most fascinating thing about TOMMY is that he does not speak during the film. It was a courageous choice and one that has paid off – as this highlights how children feel so disempowered by the separation of their two loved parents. The other thing I really like is that we filmed TOMMY on a real submarine. It is Tommy’s place of solace away from his warring parents and the effects are magical!
Ari Newman gave a brilliant performance as Tommy, was this his first film role?
I believe that this was Ari’s first major film role although he does have a role playing Helen Reddy’s son in a new TV series. He is stellar actor with so much potential and we were thrilled to have his play the role.
We are looking to make TOMMY into a feature film and we are currently looking for private funding. The film will explore TOMMY’s fantasy world more and aspects of the court case. Think Kramer v Kramer mixed with Pan’s Labyrinth, Where the Wild Things Are and The Life of Pi.